


Push me to the edge

by LaneMartin13



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Coran the masseur, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Hurt Matt, Hurt/Comfort, Keith takes black lion, M/M, Matt Holt has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Matt takes over the red lion, Mild Language, Minor Keith/Lance (Voltron), Old Injuries, Purple Paladin outfit, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Shiro is benched in the castle, Worried Pidge, Worried Shiro (Voltron), they get sappy at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 06:54:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18068687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaneMartin13/pseuds/LaneMartin13
Summary: Matt had never been the running type.He preferred computers and technology, the running was Shiro's thing.He thought that at the very least, being in the middle of an intergalactic war would help his case.It didn't.OR: Matt's leg acts up during a recon mission gone bad.





	Push me to the edge

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! 
> 
> Thank you for clicking on this story and I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> \-- L :)

       He stumbled as he ran, arms flying out in front of him to catch himself — on what he had no idea. By some grace of god, he didn’t face plant, just barely managing to get his legs back under him and straighten before it was too late. Sparing a glance behind him, he caught a glimpse of Galran soldiers in the distance, guns raised as they aimed to shoot. 

       “Keith, Lance, go!” he yelled as he ran towards the bickering pair who were tossing bad remarks and witty quips at each other as they fought the soldiers near them, finally taking them out. “ _Jesus Christ_ , stop bickering like a married couple and _move_ , dammit!” Matt Holt yelled at them, raising his voice over the rumbling of the ground as he caught up to them, grabbing them by the collars of their armor and dragging them along— completely ignoring the protests of _“We’re nothing like a married couple!”_

       “ _Ow!_ Matt, buddy, easy now, watch the face it’s too pretty to fall!” Lance exclaimed, slapping his hand away. “What’s got your bayard up your— _o_ _h!_ ” he started and cut himself off with a squeal as he turned his head and saw the soldiers. “Timetorun!” he rambled in one breath, jumbling his words together as he grabbed onto Matt and Keith, pulling them as he sprinted.

       Matt realized that this was a _very, very_ bad time for his leg to start giving him pain. It hadn’t been noticeable before, with adrenaline and all, but it was really starting to make its presence known (and unbearable) meaning that he didn’t have much time until he’d be useless. Blood was rushing in his ears and his vision nearly went white when he took yet another step and pain flared up his entire leg, causing him to trip and nearly tumble to the ground had it not been for Keith quickly grabbing onto him to steady him. Matt spared a glance at the other boy as he muttered his thanks, taking in his taut features and figuring that he must’ve been hit somewhere but was working to conceal it. Worry edged at the corners of his mind but he had to push it aside for now, focusing on all of them getting back to the lions where they would have more advantage. 

       “Hunk, retreat!” Lance screamed to the yellow paladin who was using his large blaster to hit a few soldiers back.

       Hunk turned his head at the sound of his name, immediately catching sight of the literal _herd_ of soldiers running in the distance behind the three. “Pidge, it’s time to go, go now!” he exclaimed, yanking her by the arm and hearing a faint squawk from the sudden jarring motion before seeing her eyes widen behind the visor, both of them sharing a look before sprinting back to their lions like no tomorrow.

       Matt cursed his horrible timing because it was in that moment that his leg decided to give up on him, buckling and sending him to the ground, rolling at the speed. _Fuck you Isaac Newton and your damn laws,_ he thought bitterly, groaning at the pain in his leg.

       “Matt!” Lance exclaimed, skidding to a stop and kneeling down, grabbing him by the arm and attempting to pull him back up.

       Matt used everything in his power to find the strength to push himself back up with Lance’s — now Keith’s too— help. His leg was stiff and he could hardly move it but he forced the pain down, not bothering to test its ability to hold weight before he was off with them once again. _Adrenaline,_ his brain supplied as he rushed to the red lion.

       “Just a recon mission, they said. It’ll be done in no time, they said. Oh don’t worry about a thing, it’ll be fine, they said. _Oh_ _yeah_ , _sure_!” Lance drawled with a bitter laugh, readying his controls as he sat in his chair, his comms springing to life and the visual monitor showing all of his teammates and the castle’s inhabitants. The blue paladin registered the tight lipped expression on Keith’s face and made mental note to force him to get checked out later, he’d seen him take a blaster hit earlier — a graze, but still painful he bet. His eyes flew across the monitors, eyeing the other paladins as he took off into space, narrowly avoiding a Galran fighter pilot. The risk was worth it since he was now assured that the others were fine, just breathing heavily and focused, aside from the suppressed expressions of pain on Matt and Keith’s features. He pushed down his distracted thoughts, thrusting his controls forward with a battle cry as he chased after ships, shooting them down.

       “They’re getting in their ships and flying!” Pidge informed them as she spun past ships, ducking and swerving out of their way and putting them in corners where Matt shot them down with his lion’s tail canon.

       “Paladins, you are growing outnumbered, you _must_ get out of there!” Allura declared worriedly, leaning forward on the banister.

       Hunk furrowed his brows as he shot at the ships, knocking into a few of them forcefully with the side of Yellow when he grew irritated. “With all due respect Princess, we’re trying our best.”

       “Just make sure everyone’s back is covered.” Matt replied tightly over the comms, shooting at the ships that got too close to his sister. Out of his peripheral vision he saw the circular formation they began to take out of instinct. He covered Pidge, Pidge covered Hunk, Hunk covered Keith, Keith had Lance, Lance had Matt— they worked double time to cover themselves and their teammates, taking some hits for one another as well as those from being distracted or just lucky shots.

       “We need a plan.” Keith growled, activating Black’s thrusters and whacking a ship into another, which sparked a chain reaction of destruction.

       “How about we form Voltron?” Lance suggested since what else did they have up their sleeves really?

       “We’ll be too isolated, they’ll corner us easily.” Pidge replied, shooting down the idea just as she shot down the ships attacking her.

       “The main ship docked on the planet. They’re all coming from there. If you take that out, you’ll stop the fighters.” Shiro said, his face coming into view on the hologram from his new—kind of new— position at the castle.

       Matt felt at ease at the sound of his voice, letting his mind drift for a momentwhen he reminded himself that after their last large battle, they decided that Shiro needed a break from the lions, so Keith took over for him and Matt had taken Keith’s place in Red. It made him relax just a little more knowing that Shiro was not out there with him and was safe.

       “Shiro, buddy, you’re a genius.” Lance said, smirking as he turned his attention to the planet. “Here goes nothing.” he declared before releasing yet another war cry, some inhuman sound, shooting rapid fire at the ship down below.

       When nothing happened, Lance paused his assault with a gulp. “Um guys?” he asked hesitantly, smile falling as he watched the ship’s top open, a giant gun slowing coming out of it and settling.

       “Everybody, move!” Matt yelled to the others, jerking his controls to the side quickly as the canon was fired and the ion beam shot out, directly at them, moving to the side slightly in hopes of catching one of them.

       “Paladins, you must—” Allura was ordering but Matt didn't get a chance to hear the rest of it. A fighter came from behind him, slamming into his lion full force and sending him spiraling, sacrificing itself in the process, distracting him long enough for a smaller ship to hit him with its large beam— not an ion canon, but still it knocked him around. Red spun uncontrollably and his leg was jolted as he was yanked by the restraints of his seat, a cry of pain leaving his lips before he could stop it. He heard several cries of his name over the comms and when his world finally stopped spinning he opened his eyes to see Shiro’s face on the hologram, his features laced with worry and the lines in his face pulled tightly.

       “Matt!” Pidge exclaimed, sparing glances at the monitors whenever she could.

       “I’m fine.” Matt assured her through clenched teeth, biting down as he moved his leg out of the way before reaching for his controls once again.

       “We have to take out that ship, we’re starting to run low on power.” Keith alerted the others, flying nearer to the canon. “Let’s hit them with everything we’ve got.” he instructed, knowing they would fall in line beside him. They would be taking hits from the smaller ships but this was the only way to get the canon. Allura, Coran, and Shiro were holding as many back as they could, but their range only extended so far without getting in too close. “Now!” he called to the others once they were ready, all of them pushing their energy forward into hitting the blind spot of the ship, blowing through its core after a few calculated and precisely aimed blasts, succeeding in blowing it up.

        Just as Shiro predicted, the smaller ships had immediately stopped working, returning to the main one only to be destroyed by the inferno.

       “Can we go home now?” Lance whined, breaking the silence as he leaned back in his chair, utterly exhausted.

       “Yeah.” Keith nodded, the corners of his lips tilting up in the beginnings of a smile. “Let’s go home.” he agreed, turning and leading them back to the castle, ignoring Lance’s cry of _“Who are you and what have you done with Mullet?”_ Keith ignored the comment as usual, pressing a hand to his side and seeing his fingers come back bloody. It wasn’t the worst injury he’d ever had and knew it would heal up shortly so it wasn’t that cumbersome. The occasional stab of pain however, now _that_ was irritating. He had time to worry about that later, right now he was just content listening to the jokes of his teammates-- though he would  _never_ admit it. 

       When they did land in the hangar, they were all quick to get out of their lions, completely worn out from the long day. All except for Matt. The light haired boy nearly collapsed as soon as he stood, needing to grasp onto the chair tightly and give himself a moment before he was able to move. The walk to the ramp was agonizing, and moving down it took some very slow and careful steps as he held tightly onto one of the rods holding open Red’s jaw. His helmet was off and in his free hand as he moved, limping down the rest of the way with a rather pained expression. His leg was practically dead weight and he could no longer feel it, the muscle too tight and the pricking of pins and needles too strong. He wasn’t aware that someone had approached him— two someones— until his arms were being swung over two different shoulders as they supported his weight.

       “We’ve got you, buddy.” Lance assured him, flashing him a smile as Hunk nodded from his other side.

       “Thanks, guys.” Matt swallowed, a soft smile lighting his face. He looked ahead of them and saw Pidge leading Keith despite his vehement protests that he was _fine, Pidge, god._ He normally would have laughed at her deadpanned, _I’m not God, but I’m glad you think so_ , but the pain clouding his mind was enough to dull that urge. He winced when he tried to use his leg to walk somewhat, finding that he was unable to even stand on it, needing to bend it to keep it from dragging like it wanted to.

       It didn’t take long for Allura, Shiro, and Coran to arrive, all of them having rushed from the hub as soon as they could. 

       Coran took one look at Matt, Keith, and the others with their matching bruises and made his way to the infirmary to get things set up.

       Allura fussed over Keith like the mother hen she was, prodding him both physically and with questions.

       Matt must’ve zoned out at some point because next thing he knew, Hunk and Lance were gone from his sides and somewhere ahead and Shiro was in front of him, holding his face in his hands and gently calling his name, stroking his cheek with his thumb lightly. The elder Holt blinked a few times, eyes coming back into focus to stare at his worried boyfriend before him. “I’m here.” he assured, watching as Shiro’s shoulders visibly relaxed.

       Shiro gave Matt a once over, taking in his appearance and finding nothing wrong with him until he caught sight of his bent leg and the way his boot just barely touched the ground. He had rushed in a minute earlier and had seen Hunk and Lance supporting him, but seeing the cause of his pain felt like a stab to the gut. _It’s your fault,_ his brain shot at him but he pushed the thought down, knowing Matt would scold him for it. _Takashi Shirograne, this was not your fault,_ he remembered him say when he first saw the scar, and the words lingered in his head now like a mantra, a reminder. “I’ll carry you.” he said to the slightly shorter boy in front of him, wrapping Matt’s arm around his shoulders and sliding his other arm under his knees, lifting him and wincing at his soft hiss of pain.

       “It’s not your fault.” Matt mumbled into the fabric of his shirt, fingers curling in the material lower down his body.

       Shiro didn’t answer, merely sighing as he carried him to the infirmary, setting him down on a bed in a sitting position and removing the armor around his leg, drawing the body suit up to his knee. He felt Matt’s tired and pain filled eyes on him as he did this— they had a knack for knowing exactly what the other was feeling. Taking a seat beside him, he reached for Matt’s hand, rubbing the skin on the back of it through his glove absentmindedly. He let his eyes drift around the infirmary to check on his team, catching sight of Keith trying to adjust the gauze on his side with Lance beside him trying to help and getting his hands whacked in response, Hunk helping Allura put some supplies away, and Pidge walking towards them to check on her brother, Coran following closely behind to examine him.

       When Coran began his exams on Matt’s leg, moving and bending it to test its mobility, Shiro didn’t know who’s hand was squeezing harder— his or Matt's.

       Matt felt dizzy, like there was cotton in his brain and he was floating. He kept a vice-like grip on Shiro’s hand, it only weakening as he grew more tired. His leg twinged with pain with each slight movement but he didn’t have the energy to voice his discomfort. Coran was asking him what hurt and what didn’t and he gave mild answers in response, beginning to drift off. The exams felt like ages to him and his eyes slipped closed without his consent, plunging him into darkness when he could still hear some muffled conversation about him.

       “Matty?” Pidge asked in a quiet voice, having looked away for one moment to Matt’s leg before bringing her eyes back to his face when he didn’t answer, finding it slack but pained, his eyes closed.

       Shiro’s head whipped up at that, knocking him straight out of whatever daydream he had been in. He realized then that the tightness of Matt’s grip was non-existent and that is was _him_ now that was holding on tightly in sympathetic discomfort.

       “Ah well, I think it’s best to let him rest.” Coran said, twisting his mustache as he stood upright again after straightening Matt’s leg out again very slowly. “I relaxed the muscles as best I could to relieve the pain so he should be back in shape in no time!” he clapped his hands excitedly, looking grateful that the noise hadn’t woken the eldest Holt sibling.

       “Thanks, Coran.” Shiro nodded, Pidge repeating the sentiment gratefully. “I’ll take him back.” he stated, standing in order to carry Matt as before. His mood had shifted and he was back in the present, cursing himself for getting lost in his own world when Matt needed him.

       Pidge leaned up on her tiptoes to kiss her brother on the crown on his head before moving back. “Goodnight, Matt. Goodnight, Shiro.” she smiled softly at them. Although she was worried about her brother, his leg had given him trouble before so she knew he would be okay, and she trusted Shiro with her life.

       “Goodnight, Pidge.” Shiro smiled, looking tired. When she had gone, he followed, taking Matt to his room since that’s where they slept most nights anyway. He laid him on the bed, removing the white paladin armor with purple accents before the shedding the black body suit, changing him into a pair of his pajamas. Rolling up one pant leg again like before, Shiro then placed a cooled blue gel pack — the Altean version of ice packs — on his boyfriend’s weak leg just below his knee after propping it up on a pillow. He swapped out his regular clothes for night ones, shutting off the light before sliding into bed next to Matt, being extra mindful of his leg. _Not your fault. You did what you had to to save him,_ he reminded himself. That didn’t mean it didn’t suck sometimes. Again, he shoved it down in favor of caring for Matt, the one he _never_ wants to see in any kind of pain. He brushed his hair back with his fingers, dragging a thumb down his cheek to lightly trace the scar there before pressing a delicate kiss to the skin just below it. Time passed in that way, Shiro laying gentle kisses to Matt’s skin whenever he noticed that he would scrunch his face or shift slightly in discomfort, carding his fingers through his hair absentmindedly to lull him back to sleep. And at some point, Shiro fell asleep too.

       When Matt woke up the next morning and tried to turn on his side out of habit, he was confused when his leg wouldn’t cooperate. It wasn’t stiff anymore, it just felt like limp jello, completely slack and weak with a slight pressure over it, easing the ache with cool solution. It came back to him slowly as he opened his eyes— the battle, the Galra, the running, Shiro’s face. Speaking of which, the man in question was nowhere to be seen. With a frown, Matt slowly sat up but laid back down when his hand brushed a piece of paper that was on the bed bedside him.

_Went to get you pain killers & water, just so you know in case you wake up and I’m not there_

_I love you,_

_Takashi_

_P.S. I know you want to but please_ _do not_ _get up, your leg is still too weak_

       The note made Matt smile brightly, completely forgetting about any pain he might have had as his heart swelled with warmth and love. His eyes glanced at the door to the bathroom and he briefly thought about getting up to shower, but it left his mind as soon as it entered. Shiro knew him too well.

       As if on cue, the door slid open and Shiro made his way back into the room with a bottle of the Altean equivalent to aspirin and a glass of water. Upon seeing Matt awake, he smiled brightly. “Hey, look who’s up.” he greeted, sitting down on the bed beside him and setting the items on the bedside table.

       “You’re adorable.” Matt smiled, pulling him down gently by the shirt to kiss him as he leaned up to meet him. “I love you.” he said once they broke apart.

       “I love you too.” Shiro grinned, not having to look to know what Matt was referring to when he called him adorable. “I figured you’d get up and either try to do something yourself or find me.” he told him, raising an eyebrow to dare him to tell him differently.

       “Are you insinuating that I have no sense of well-being? Shiro, I’m offended, honestly.” Matt gasped, a hand over his chest. “I was most definitely _not_ contemplating showering.”

       Shiro’s unimpressed expression merely intensified before he laughed, breaking it. “I am in love with a dork.”

       “Obviously, I thought you were more observant.” Matt quipped with an eye roll before smiling mischievously, “but I’m your dork.”

       “Yes you are.” Shiro affirmed, pressing another light kiss to his lips. “How’s the leg?” he asked, reaching for the bottle of pills behind him.

       “Usual.” Matt sighed, glancing down at it as he leaned up on his forearms. “Numb. I can hardly feel or move it, it just feels like dead weight.” he spoke truthfully, knowing better than to play it off for Shiro’s sake.

       “Coran pretty much did some weird masseur thing after you fell asleep so it should help you later.” Shiro nodded, opening the bottle and giving him two of the pills, handing him the water afterwards.

       Matt downed them and gave the water back with a thanks, laying down again and bending his good leg up. “Are you okay?” he asked, looking up at him and raising his hand to push his white bangs out of the way.

       “I should be asking you that.” Shiro deflected, taking his hand in his.

       Matt rolled his eyes, giving him an annoyed look. “Takashi, you’re benched right now so I know you’re not ‘okay’ and I definitely didn’t help with my stupid leg making a big deal out of everything, so don’t lie to me. Not to me.”

       “It’s not your fault, Matt.” Shiro said, pulling his hand closer to his body as he shuffled closer on the bed, sitting on it completely instead of on the edge. “You’ve been running around constantly for the last few days, you couldn’t help it. And don’t worry about me, I sorted myself out, okay?” he assured.

       “You know that I don’t blame you for anything, I know that you know that. And I know that you’re working on not blaming yourself, so it was hard for you to face it yesterday. You don’t have to be okay just because I’m not right now. We can not be okay together.” Matt explained, lacing their fingers together.

       “We’re really messed up, aren’t we?” Shiro laughed softly, grey eyes meeting caramel.

       “Yeah,” Matt laughed, “we are,” he agreed, “but who else can say they fly in intergalactic space lions?” 

       “Definitely no one else.” Shiro chuckled, laying down next to Matt. “It’s working, everything you’re helping me with.” he admitted, looking up at the overhang over the bed as he fiddled with the other’s fingers. “The nightmares, the guilt, it’s helping.”

       “It’s all you, Takashi. You just needed someone to give you a little push and tell you it’s okay to fall.” Matt said, smiling softly and turning onto his side to face him, adjusting his legs as he moved.

       “You know I’ll always catch you.” Shiro said, speaking to Matt’s own issues that plagued him.

       “And I’ll catch you.” Matt replied automatically, “I love you so much, no matter what, and don’t ever forget it.”

       “I won’t. I love you too, Matt.” Shiro smiled, turning on his side to face him. He reached down between them, cool metal grasping his leg and gently moving it to a more comfortable position, bending it and separating it away from his other to give him more room. His own leg slid under it to give Matt something to gage feeling and pressure and make him feel more at ease. The gel pack was long ago discarded but it wasn’t needed anymore. When he removed his arm from their legs and drew it up to rest on Matt’s side, he caught his expression. Eyes shut and lips slightly parted, breathing slowly as he relaxed, obviously unaware that he needed it until Shiro did it. _You also need a little push and someone to tell you it’s okay to fall,_ the older male thought to himself when looking at Matt.

       Matt’s eyes flickered open briefly as he moved his upper body closer to him and leaned his head against his chest, Shiro resting his on top of it in response.

       “Goodnight, Matt.” Shiro whispered into his caramel locks, dropping a kiss to his head and closing his eyes.

       “Goodnight, Takashi.” Matt whispered in return, smiling softly as he drifted off to the sound of his heartbeat.

_Sometimes you need a little push and someone to tell you it’s okay to fall._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm a sucker for angst and comfort, what can I say. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> And feel free to drop any comments below, it's much appreciated! 
> 
> \-- L :)


End file.
